King of Tonga: I Miss You

Anyone who knows me well knows that I love the King of Tonga.Well, more specifically I love the late King of Tonga. Sadly, he passed away in 2006. ...on my birthday.

The King of Tonga and I share a special bond! In fact, he was my pen-pal once. Back in 2004, I found his address randomly in a book I was reading, and me... with all my free time... decided to write him a letter.

...The letter was ridiculous! And it certainly carried all the graces deserved by higher nobility. (Sarcasm). After reading my letter, I wouldn't have been surprised if he thought I was a some irritatingly obsessive pre-teen lacking respect and a proper education. My letter ended with me begging him for an autographed photo, promising that if he sent it, I'd frame it and hang it on my bedroom wall.

Months and months and months later, with my letter long forgotten, I got an oddly-shaped envelope in the mail. At first I figured it was a wedding announcement, but I thought it was strange that there was no return address, stamp, or postmark. Only a crest overlaying the backside seal--an official coat of arms exactly like this one:


I read the seal and only recognized the one word. TONGA. I was probably a little more excited than I'd like to admit. I opened it and inside I found a picture of the entire royal family, autographed by King Taufa'ahau Tupou IV himself!

Awww... Look at him! I don't think he has a bigger fan than myself.


I wrote him back, but like I said... he died! My mom called me the day after my birthday and broke the news. Our friendship ended! ...But we will all meet him at the pearly gates someday!

So King of Tonga, again... this post is dedicated to your loving memory! My mom and I both love and miss you. And thanks for the autographed photo. Tonga Forever!!!



PS: I'm thinking about writing the new King, telling my story, and challenging him to outdo the last King, or at least a battle of wits. Whatta ya think?!

A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes...

Disney tells us this is true... and we feel all warm and fuzzy when we hear it because we hope, like Cinderella, that our heart's wishes will also come true! Ah, dreams! ... These are how our soul, in its purity, would have life be.

But me... I don't think my heart really know what's best for me. I wake up some mornings completely unable to interpret the random idiocy that just took place. Other times I awake wondering how I could possibly have come up with such bizarre, violent, or emotionally wrenching situations for myself.

Let's take a gander at a few of my more recent dreams/wishes to see what I wish life would provide:

1) I wish that I would be raised and ruled by penguins.

2) ...that I'd get run down and devoured by dinosaurs.

3) That an alien will kill all my friends and family, and I will be left completely and utterly alone, to walk a void planet filled with noxious gases.

4) That I will be completely and absolutely in-love, but that girl of my dreams will never... could never love me back -- because I'll be a zombie. A heartbroken zombie. :(


 
 5) And probably the dream that caused me to wake up with more shock and terror than any other (honestly!!!)... that the United States Constitution didn't have a Bill of Rights, and that there was nothing I could do about it!

Like I say, most morning I wake up either confused or bothered. Sometimes shaken. If Cinderella's right and my dreams will come true... we're all screwed!

Happiness is...

1. A really relaxing day.
2. A really busy day.
3. Going to bed early and actually falling asleep.
4. An adventurous dream.
5. Finishing something that was really difficult.
6. Your favorite breakfast cereal.
7. Payday.
8. A witty comment where everybody laughs.
9. Soccer.
10. Hitting it off.
11. Being liked back.
12. Watching your favorite TV show.
13. Showing someone something you think is hilarious.
14. Halloween.
15. A rope swing.
16. Being liked by an animal.
17. Eggs, bacon, and toast after sleeping in.
18. Taking a really awesome picture.
19. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
20. The perfect landing.
21. A paper airplane that flies well.
22. Getting a cast off.
23. Casting off.
24. The perfect cast.
25. A new Pixar movie.
26. Working on a sculpture.
27. Building a model.
28. Knowing you can be trusted.
29. Right before a really good meal.
30. Eating out.
31. Catching something you drop before it hits the ground.
32. New electronics.
33. Learning a new guitar song.
34. Old friends.
35. Camping trips.
36. Tripping into a pool.
37. Getting thrown into a pool.
38. Sound that is very... full.
39. Performing in a choir when you know your music.
40. Train tracks.
41. Rafting.
42. Tubing.
43. Horseback riding.
44. Being scared silly.
45. Hitting a bullseye.
46. Rollercoasters.
47. Dachshunds.
48. Understanding another language.
49. Making up.
50. Understanding engines.
51. Ferrero Rocher and Ferrero Renoir. Not the coconut kind.
52. Finishing a book.
53. Seeing a wild animal when it isn't close enough to kill you.
54. Scheming.
55. A full tank.
56. A slip-to-land.
57. Putting 57 things I'm happy for when I only meant to put 20.
58. A passport stamp.
59. Delivery pizza.
60. Receiving a letter from a missionary.
61. Being surprised at how much money is in your account.
62. A sunday "nice-note."
63. A heavy blanket.
64. A super-hero movie.
65. New slang.
66. Long boarding.
67. Biffing it but not getting hurt.
68. Building something.
69. Fall.
70. Spring.
71. Summer.
72. Listening to older people tell stories.
73. Being liked by a little kid.
74. The dollar menu.
75. Reliving childhood memories.
76. Reading past journals.
77. Ping pong.

Okay, I'll stop for now. I have to get on with things. :)

Arise and Be Men

When we consider of the admonition to be men, we must think of Jesus Christ. The Lord asked His disciples what manner of men they should be, and then answered, "Verily I say unto you, even as I Am." Jesus told his Apostles, "Whosoever of you will be the chiefest shall be the servant of all."

He gave His life to redeem mankind. Surely we can accept responsibility for those He entrusts to our care. Let us be men, even as He is.



Mormon Messages

Wall-to-wall With Nathaniel

Here it is: A collection of wall-to-wall quotes with Nathaniel! I prize this collection of quotes as I would a pound of fine gold, or Red Robin Mushroom Swiss Hamburger! Both are of equal value.

...why I did I capitalize the hamburger? I have problems.

DALLEN: Nathanulated! That's when Nathaniel is ground into a very fine powder and sprinkled on food!

NATHANIEL: Dal'n has a really really big wart on the back of his neck!!! HA!!!

D: Nathaniel is hooked on illegal pharmaceuticals

N: Daln smells funny...

D: May God have mercy on your soul!

N: Dallen has a patch of hair on his back that is 3 feet long! he braids it and tucks it in his pants. Watch out when you go hot tubbing with him!

D: Nathaniel can't grow chair on his chest! He still hasn't reached that phase!

N: Dallen, nobody grows chairs on their chest. Did you mean Chairs on my hest? or Hairs on my chest? Either way, your insult failed... HA!!!!

D: Dang it! Foiled again! I guess I'm just not good at being a jerk!

N: Dallen's armpits are infested with the fleas of a thousand camels! HA!!!

D: Nathaniel... I have just two words about you: Special Ed!

N: You sit on a throne of lies!

D: Buy me candy or I'll delete you from my friends list!

N: Hey remember that one time that you spelled spaghetti "speghetti"? HA! That was sooo funny!

D: At least my problems can be solved by a click of a few buttons. Yours, unfortunately, are going to take years of counseling! wha ha

N: It's time to instruct you in the matters of loss and pain...

D: Merry Christmas you filthy animal!

N: Dallen's brain is the consistency of jello!

D: I'm getting ridiculously close to shoving a coconut up your... sleeping bag.

N: "Give" -Little Stream

D: If we are ever stranded, and there's nothing to eat... Nathaniel... I want you to use my body for food.

N: Dal'n wears his grandmother's under clothes!!! He also has a HUGE rash all over his body

D: Nathaniel Gardner, you will lose... everything!

N: your soul is condemned... The flames of your sins consume you! Goodbye forever... ex-friend...

...We're pleasant fellows, aren't we?

Poor Red: An October 2nd Tragedy

I'm sincere when I say that I'm not a superstitious person! ...but I am! I am superstitious! ...and I realized it around three o'clock in the afternoon on October 2nd when I was still worrying about potential Oct. 2nd tragedies. I was just about to go fly down at the Spanish Fork airport, and I actually had the though, "Is it really safe to go flying today today?" HA!

Yeah I'm silly! ...but the legacy has actually continued, and to tell you the truth, I wasn't really that surprised when, later that evening, I was pulling out my phone ready to call 911.

At about 7 o'clock the sun was going down as peacefully as ever. I had just eaten with my friend, and now we were off to watch the play Into the Woods at the Scera Theater. All seemed well.

All seemed well until twenty minutes into the play! I had just been thinking to myself how well one of the characters, Little Red Riding Hood, was at her part. I really haven't ever seen someone with that much energy, and she was perfect in her role. Just at the end of a song, she turned and pranced off to an exit door, where her enemy the wolf had just been. Suddenly, all of us jumped as we heard a blood-curdling scream...and then intense sobbing! "What? Is the wolf back or something?" I thought, but then the sobbing continued... awkwardly... and someone came running out of the exit door calling "DAD! DAD!" into the audience. At about this point, the tech guys turned off Red's mic so her agony wasn't published for all to hear. "Someone call 911!" people started yelling, and my blood ran cold.

I bet Red is safe and sound...! I bet she's comfortable and laying peacefully in her nice warm bed at home...! I bet nothing is really wrong. I just know that I didn't buy it when the narrator came out and announced in a choked voice, holding back tears, "We've had an accident. The actress who plays Little Red Riding Hood... umm... sprained her ankle. ...An ambulance is on its way."

Hmm... Yeah, I'm sure Red is just fine...! But ever since, I've been a little haunted by her scream and crying, which, may I add again, was broadcast over a theater's sound system. :(

The Great and Terrible Day

October 2nd is my personal doomsday. It seems like any other day. Nothing special about it. But it keeps proving to be cursed. Usually I don't remember October 2nd until the day before it's upon me and I start to get honestly and deeply concerned.

I don't think I've ever had a normal October 2nd (in my whole life). My first October 2nd I was close to death sitting in a hospital incubator, and my last October 2nd I threw my back out and was bed-ridden for a week and a half. Scattered in-between those have been quite a few other terrifying, sickening, and gore-filled October 2nds.

Not all of them have been horrible like that though. I've had GREAT ones too... awesomely-great! Great to the point of life-changing! For example, I went into the MTC on October 2nd. See, that's good, right? right? ...it's just the recent (and more frequent) bad ones that make me expect the worst.

Maybe I do it to myself. Maybe it's my own worrying that makes it awful, or my own counter-efforts that make it great. It's more fun to think, though, that somewhere out there, there still lives a gypsy woman, angry and dirty in a run-down mansion, living alone with only bugs and bats as company, and that years ago she cast some sort of spell on my mother while she was pregnant with me.

I dunno. But please, please pray for me this October 2nd. PLEASE!