Wipeout Application -- I need your help!!!

If you don't know what Wipeout is, you better get yourself out of your books and back in front of your television set. I promise you, this is one hour wasted that you'll never want back!

Wipeout is enough comedy to make even cynical, cranky old people wet their pants in laughter (even though that might not be that hard). 

So Here's the Deal:

World famous reality television producer Endemol USA (that brought you Fear Factor, and Deal or No Deal,) is casting more episodes of the television hit WIPEOUT. In each episode, 24 contestants compete to win $50,000 while conquering the world's largest obstacle course.

INTERESTED CANDIDATES

STEP 1: Fill out an online profile and application. Include a brief summary of why you're the perfect candidate for this show. You MUST upload a photo to be considered.

STEP 2: Our casting department will review your application. If they would like to bring you in for an audition, they will contact you to schedule an appointment at our Burbank office.

...If you've ever seen the show, you know they generally have some pretty, um... how do I put this? ...interesting people on there. They're usually colorful, hyper, and downright laughable. So what I need to do is pick some quirky or unique part of myself and exaggerate it up the wazoo. Those who know me, please! I need your help! Point out, even rudely, my most laughable qualities. Whatever idea I choose, I'm going to write my essay and do a photoshoot that will make my application undeniable.

Help me get on Wipeout!!!

And to close, here are some future pictures of me competing on Wipeout.

(me hurtling the big balls)

(I don't know what's happening, but it appears my legs are tied to that flag or something)

(There I am wasting my competitors)